Do I really have time for this? I don’t know. I keep overbooking myself, and I guess I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m part of the problem, especially with how I handle things with my first business partner. A few months before I came up with the “Five in Five” idea, I reconnected with an old friend from college. We realized we were both at a point in our lives where we wanted to explore a business venture instead of sticking to our regular jobs. We knew we couldn’t do it alone because we were both so busy, but we figured that joining forces and handling different aspects of the business might allow us to build something successful—slowly, but surely.
We started planning, and he already had an idea for an app. So, we began developing a proof of concept and kept in touch pretty regularly—on a weekly basis. Since starting the “Five in Five” quest, I’ve been focusing even more on ways we can steer our business. I’ve been trying to figure out what would have the biggest upside down the road and the highest probability of success.
For the past couple of weeks, my college friend has had some family matters to attend to, and I started feeling like I was doing more than my share of the work. Then, I remembered something called “egocentric bias,” which means we all tend to feel like we’re contributing more than the other person. That made me question whether my college friend has the time and drive to work on this as much as is really needed or if it’s just m mind playing tricks on me. After all, he indeed made some substantial changes to our POC and has been talkign to people trying to find what their businesses need.
The first minute of this video briefly explains egocentric bias… but watch it all! It illustrates how we both need to work hard AND get lucky. But hey, “The harder I work the luckier I get”, right?
Then another friend came to mind a couple of days ago. He’s someone I met at my first job over 10 years ago. I wondered if he might be a good complement to my skills. Back then, we worked together on a side project in our spare time to make our jobs easier. He came up with ideas, and I handled the implementation—back when I barely knew how to develop an app. Yet, we built something that was successful within the company. He’s the only person I’ve ever built something substantial with, so I knew we made a good team.
So, I reached out and asked him to join this “Five in Five” quest. I explained why I picked that number and timeframe, even though I admit it’s somewhat arbitrary. He agreed to join me.
My old work friend and my college friend are different. If this was like a credit application, my college friend would have a perfect credit score as a partner. He has people skills that I don’t, and although we have similar technical backgrounds, he went down the managerial route, while I stuck with the technical. So, when we put our heads together, we complement each other well.
On the other hand, my old work friend wouldn’t look so good on that “credit score” application. Over the past decade, he’s faced some serious personal issues, some of which would be seen as red flags. It’s not about his character but his ability to stay focused and maintain a healthy state of mind. Still, the one experience we had building that successful project and his ability to connect with people who would typically be out of reach make him a good complement to my own skills.
Working with my old work friend isn’t about giving second chances, being charitable, or saving someone. It’s a calculated risk, and I’m betting on him because he believed in me back then—more than I believed in myself. I remember he’d suggest features for our little app, things I had no clue how to implement because I barely knew how to code beyond what I’d learned in college. But his encouragement made me better. That gratefulness aside, I don’t want to write someone off just because they don’t look perfect on paper. It reminds me of the movie *Moneyball*—someone doesn’t have more or less value just because of their struggles. I believe we can work around his difficulties and he’s in a good place now. It’s about valuing what someone can do, being aware of their challenges and not discarding them for it.
Like I said, I talked to him a couple of days ago, and he was excited to join. Yesterday, he started messaging me ideas. I barely had time to glance at them, and I think he noticed I was leaving him on read. If I’m complaining about my first business partner’s lack of commitment, then I can’t be doing the same thing myself. I need to find the time and the drive to follow through. I know I want to do this, and I need to figure out how to make it my priority—or at least one of my top priorities.
I keep reflecting on this, and I realize there’s a recurring pattern. Over a year ago—before my college friend and I formalized our team—we were actually working on another project with a childhood friend of mine. The three of us were in the same position: we wanted to make progress, but we were struggling to get things moving.
Somehow, my college friend and I decided that the problem was my childhood friend. He wasn’t communicating with us, which was true. He was going through some personal challenges, so we had a conversation with him and suggested that he withdraw from the project. It wasn’t going anywhere anyway. It was just a bunch of plans and ideas—we hadn’t actually started working on anything concrete.
After that conversation, he stepped back from the project. I continued tinkering a bit with the code and started building a small API, but overall, we had nothing substantial. So we gave him a gentle push to leave, and he did.
Funny enough, now a year or so later, I’m in a similar situation. This time, it’s me questioning whether my college friend is focused enough. Yesterday, I realized that I invited someone else to join me, and now *I’m* the one who hasn’t been focused enough. It makes me wonder: am I the problem here? Or is this just a common challenge we all face—struggling to follow through with big dreams and ambitious projects?
I think the solution isn’t necessarily about being too understanding of ourselves and others. If we excuse ourselves and our partners too much—by saying we’re all too busy or don’t have enough time—nothing will get done. Everyone will have a pass, and those big dreams will just stay as dreams.
The real question is: how do we make the time? How do we become efficient enough, hardworking enough, and committed enough to truly follow through, especially *this* time?